My New Life

After a three year hiatus from blogging, I had an urge to start it up again.
So many changes have happened in my life in such a short time. After Hubby passed away, I decided to update my beloved home of 26 years. The air conditioner was still working, but being as old as the house I had it replaced along with the leaking roof. I had the oak kitchen cabinets professionally painted white. The inside and outside of the house painted, some lighting, and fans replaced.
 I hadn’t ever been afraid in my home before, but being all alone for the first time in my life, I felt a sudden fear. So I had two sets of custom security French doors installed. The yard was becoming hard for me to mow and the sprinkler system needed to be repaired so I installed artificial grass- best move of my life!. I replaced the dining room carpet with wood flooring. With a surprise check from a niece, I added a beautiful library with a rolling ladder. I dedicated it to my recently deceased sister who also had a love of books. A few pieces of furniture thruout the house and I felt I could live there forever. I loved my home, before the redo and certainly afterwards. I would jump on the library ladder and take a ride  whenever I felt the urge which was often! I loved looking thru the beautiful screen door and seeing the perfectly groomed yard. Remember the view? I have hundreds of photos of the sunrises over the lake. Perfection! And then............ sitting on my new swivel, rocker, recliner, I started feeling lonely. That was the first time I ever felt the emotion. Even thought I had everything I wanted or needed, it just wasn’t enough. I kept telling myself how perfect my life was, I had just enough needed to be happy. But something was missing-family was missing . So......
My beloved home was sold and a move across the county, a home purchased all within a four month period! My head was swimming, but it was so exciting. I’m only a few minutes from all my family. Fourth generation Desert Rats and all have moved to this area. Unbelievable don’t you think?
I’m still wondering how it all happened.......

Arizona Springtime

 Spring time in Arizona is my idea of heaven on earth! It has been long lasting this year. Today is only 66~small amount of rain. It won't last though it always hits 100 in May and keeps climbing through July.

Blooming in my garden....Red Aloe

Santa Rita

Shirley Poppy

Torch Cactus

 

Thompson grape

 

Snapdragon~petunia 

Artificial Grass~~~best decision of all time! Wish I would have done this years ago.

 

 

SAUDADE

Saudade= where I am at the moment. Trying to find my place in my world. Saudade. If I ever have a desire for a tattoo, this is the word that I would use. I guess I would place it on the ring finger- it's about the only place that hasn't  or won't sag as the rest of  my body has in the past few years. Sau-da-de~Is the nostalgia when you are missing/longing/yearning for something or someone that is gone (or happened), a lingering memory....I am not in a depression-but that feeling is always hanging around. I feel sad that my Sister didn't see her only Grandchild get married or become a great Grand mother.That Hubby also missed so much already. Soon I will experience being alone in my home. Children will have moved on and another change that I will have to deal with. In a funny way I am looking forward to finding out just how I will handle it all.....

POTTED MEMORIES

                                                             Fall day at the lake

The date palm has been in this pot for over 5 years. We named him Walter Rose.  Before the transplant, WR was just a sprout growing next to his 20+ feet family. SIL rescued him in 1994, after the sale of the family farm.  He kept it in a bucket on his side yard, kept it watered and always wondered why it never would grow. Not one to throw away any plant struggling to stay alive, my SIL never gave up on Walter. Before the sale of his home, he transplanted him into this pot. Seems that was what it needed!  He gave it to me after the sale of his home.
 The first date palms planted on the Farm was in 1919. There were about 8 palms lined in front of the orchard, in front of the family home. Spending a lot my childhood on the farm, date season was the favorite time of the year. First date picking/eating was September. As long as there were dates on the tree and the birds were kept at bay, we were all in date heaven!  When the trees were to tall to climb, we would line the ground with old irrigation tarps, shake the trees until all the ripe ones would fall. We always saved just enough for Grandmother to make date desserts.  Now I pay $9.99 per lb. at our local health food store...missing the old days.....

SADNESS ABOUNDS

                                                                 
                                                                On Sept 4, 2014, I lost my husband of 38 years. He fought the battle of cancer for 5 years. It was bittersweet, losing him, but wanting his suffering to stop...... A well attended memorial, he would have been humbled by it all. Don was the only person I have ever known to always speak the truth, he never wore a mask, and he was what you saw. A man of many talents, a decent man, but most important, he had common sense. I loved him and he loved me.
                                                                 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith. 11Timothy 3-7

Sleep over.....

Loving Monsoon season!

 

 

 I found this in my drafts. Never got around to publish it.  Sister had just lost her Hubby and was having a hard time after his death. She would stay with me when the grief became hard for her to bear.. 

 

 

 

Sis spent the night -first time in over 50 years- she found out how I really live. I am a closet hoarder-there I said it!! She told me it was time  to get organized!! Now how she expects a 69 yr. old dyslexic, scattered, ADHD person to change is beyond me! I always wanted to be able to know where anything I needed would be in a proper place. Believe me I have tried, but always get so stressed I have to take a break .Most breaks lasted years..  She should have worked on me years sooner!  We stared in the kitchen and this is what came out of my top cabinet's. 

 

 

 All this on the counter tops and island have been stored for years. At the least, 99 % of the stuff was never used. She ask why I keep all these things . Some of the things I just liked, were old, belonged to my Grandmother, some were gifts and others were just a darn good bargain. She told me that each piece that I wanted to keep, had to be displayed and if not then I had to  get rid of it! That is how I was able to give it up. I didn't find any that I really wanted to keep out except a sugar jar. I loved this little jar. I kept it on display for a few days. I got tired of looking at it, didn't match my décor, but couldn't make myself  donate it, so I  hid it on the top shelf in the very back where she wouldn't see it. Think of that, only one piece out of all the mess that I wanted to keep! This is going to be fun after all! It sure felt like a huge burden lifted from me-a burden I never knew existed!

 

 

The plan was her coming back to finish my whole house but her death got in the way.......

A little of this~~~~A little of that~~~

 

SUNFLOWERS                 

                                             

 No soil, not much water-maybe next year the snapdragons will come up in all
 the cracks on the patio!

Lolly Bee and Buddy Dee wanting to get away from all the pollen.

Love my desert museum palo

 

verde  tree even though the yard and patio are filled with yellow blooms.

 

 Grand son home safe from Afghanistan!!!!!!!!!  Prayers answered!!!!

 

 Not getting outside much. Hubby has finished all options for fighting his cancer. Hospice nurse comes to our home twice a week....... .